LOST

suddenly, i'm overwhelmed with feelings.
i feel really lost rite now,it's like i'm at a major crossroad.
medicine? yes? no? other career? sime darby? yes? no? overseas? local? which college? n everything else...
i'm so uncertain, everything seems so blurry and i'm so scare to look into the future n out of this currently *comfort zone*.
i dun mind any job as long as it involves people, i just want to help people, is it tat hard?! i dont even mind to just lead a simple life and do some volunteer work with children or the orang asli kids, refugees..
fan sei yan la!

i have always dreamed to put an end to human tracfficking, it has alwazys been bugging my heart, but i just dont know where to start. it's so saddening to know tat even children are used. i just want to make a difference in this world, is it tat hard? can some one look into my heart and use me from there. i'm tired of all these uncertainties, tired of studying so crazily. i want to use my gift n offer it to the society especially the needy ones. i think i can be a good doctor but i dont think i can cope with a doctor's life even though i know i'm tough.

the worries is always there. TER 97 n above is really way too high for me to achieve. it's not that i dun trust myself but i know my ability.
i dont want to be a burden to my family. just really hope i can achieve TER90 so that we dont need to pay back the whole course of SAM in taylors college. and if..... just if.... it does happen, i think i will find a job to cover up some of the cost. i dont want my parents to be entangled in this mess. =(

hmmm.. it really takes a big step of trusting in You, LORD!
i just pray that in Your timing, that You will reveal to me what is Your will for me.