Sunday, May 1, 2011
the lyrics of this song is so meaningful. oh Lord, i just CANT understand this love that You've shown to me, how unfailing it is, how faithful it is. that no matter how many times i neglect You, no matter how long i ignore You, no matter how much i hurt You, BUT OH LORD, You still love me WITH the SAME love you shown to me on the cross. indeed YOU ARE ALWAYS FAITHFUL even when i am faithless or filled with sin.
i pray Lord, that You will continuously draw me back to You, and never let me go astray. I LOVE YOU LORD! so much!
sometimes, when the burden is too heavy to bear, i know You ARE the source of my strength. when everything is in a mess, i know that You are my solutions, but yet, i'm such a rebellious child, turning away from You, oh Lord, im sorry, and ask for Your forgiveness. THANKS so much, for ur never ending faithfulness! =)
Thursday, April 21, 2011
doubts are haunting me again
where's the passion? where's the motivation?
i feel as if i do not have any interest in watever im studying. and i really do wonder.. what if i really did take up the course of education or psychology or a course tat studies people. i want to learn how people work and behave and all, how to cheer them up, how to give them a better life. what im interested in is people. and i really do find it hard some times to find JOY and HAPPINESS in what i am studying. its not that i dont like evrything in medicine, but the large chunks of science and facts just makes it hard to enjoy it. i really need to feel tat once again. for now, i realised i keep falling asleep in most, if not all of the classes except those that involves movement like practicals, those that involve medical interview, talking to people and all, cause tat's really my interests, and i just seem to be able to pay attention in those kind of tutorial. the rest, i just seem to switch off automatically, even though i try very hard with concious effort to focus but just cant. im very afraid that i cant survive n struggling through 5 years like that. studying something that i do not enjoy, and when this thoughts come and haunt me, the feeling of wanting to change course comes, but yet, i know i have to hold it in and strive with my very best cause i know it's impossible since i've already accepted sime's scholarship and would not want to let anyone down especially my family. but yet, one part of my hearts stills tell me that i will enjoy medicine/ being a doctor in future and that gives me hope. and besides, to see how God have lay down the pathway for me, making sime approve of the scholarship, tat makes me very assured that im on the right pathway. i just hope that i will find the passion along the way, and find interest along this long journey and start to enjoy what im doing in the end. =) as i type this last few sentence, my smile is cming back, and tat's a good sign! =)
anyways, i just came back from penang and had a really really awesome time. spending time w friends with outings and holidays is really the best way of getting to know them better. it made me realised so many different great qualities in all my friends and to learn to appreciate them. the food was just too awesome, i cant even recount how many meals i took a day, it was endless, from one stall to the next. felt soooo contented,happy and satisfied after this trip! =)
and as i went for holidays, it often make me think back of all the G8 outings we had, the fun tat we had. went to the beach and remembered the COUNTLESS jump shots we took along the pangkor beach with the sunset tat day. went to a park and remembered how you all taught me to cycle for the very FIRST TIME. saw monkeys in a park and thought of lilian. saw waterfall and rememebered how we released candice's fishes into the lake and ALL THE funny pose we did it tat MULTI COUNTRY parks. memories will just flash back during all this trips and i can imagine wat we would have done together if you all were here with me.
i feel as if i do not have any interest in watever im studying. and i really do wonder.. what if i really did take up the course of education or psychology or a course tat studies people. i want to learn how people work and behave and all, how to cheer them up, how to give them a better life. what im interested in is people. and i really do find it hard some times to find JOY and HAPPINESS in what i am studying. its not that i dont like evrything in medicine, but the large chunks of science and facts just makes it hard to enjoy it. i really need to feel tat once again. for now, i realised i keep falling asleep in most, if not all of the classes except those that involves movement like practicals, those that involve medical interview, talking to people and all, cause tat's really my interests, and i just seem to be able to pay attention in those kind of tutorial. the rest, i just seem to switch off automatically, even though i try very hard with concious effort to focus but just cant. im very afraid that i cant survive n struggling through 5 years like that. studying something that i do not enjoy, and when this thoughts come and haunt me, the feeling of wanting to change course comes, but yet, i know i have to hold it in and strive with my very best cause i know it's impossible since i've already accepted sime's scholarship and would not want to let anyone down especially my family. but yet, one part of my hearts stills tell me that i will enjoy medicine/ being a doctor in future and that gives me hope. and besides, to see how God have lay down the pathway for me, making sime approve of the scholarship, tat makes me very assured that im on the right pathway. i just hope that i will find the passion along the way, and find interest along this long journey and start to enjoy what im doing in the end. =) as i type this last few sentence, my smile is cming back, and tat's a good sign! =)
anyways, i just came back from penang and had a really really awesome time. spending time w friends with outings and holidays is really the best way of getting to know them better. it made me realised so many different great qualities in all my friends and to learn to appreciate them. the food was just too awesome, i cant even recount how many meals i took a day, it was endless, from one stall to the next. felt soooo contented,happy and satisfied after this trip! =)
and as i went for holidays, it often make me think back of all the G8 outings we had, the fun tat we had. went to the beach and remembered the COUNTLESS jump shots we took along the pangkor beach with the sunset tat day. went to a park and remembered how you all taught me to cycle for the very FIRST TIME. saw monkeys in a park and thought of lilian. saw waterfall and rememebered how we released candice's fishes into the lake and ALL THE funny pose we did it tat MULTI COUNTRY parks. memories will just flash back during all this trips and i can imagine wat we would have done together if you all were here with me.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
...not a coincidence
when feelings overwhelmed, and when i dun knw wat to do, just feel like coming here to blabber and write. hahaha!
something really coincident happen this week. just at the beginning of the week, i was chatting with this friend and we had a heart to heart talk and he told me how his mother pass away from cancer. and then on friday, after exams, i was walking around doing groceries shopping. and i heard my name, turned around and saw one of my friends. and he too, shared about how he recently lost his father.
IN THE SAME WEEK, there's two person who came to me sharing about how they lost their loved ones. it was so coincident and i felt like God was talking to me as if He's trying to tell me something.
and i guess, i realised that life is so unpredictable, and He was like telling me to APPRECIATE my family while i have them.
i felt really sad for them, i was lost for words, because i really cant imagine what its like living without my mother/ father. i would not know how to recover as well. and im very sure it will take them a LONG TIME to recover.
besides, it made me realised, im very blessed already that i have a loving COMPLETE family and should stop complaining bout this bout that and all. =)
2011, even the beginning was very busy already. and when i tend to get busy, i tend to neglect God. i started asking and wondering WHERE IS MY HEART that i once had? last time i used to CARE so much, i would write little little notes to my cell group members encouraging them and all, i would have a burning passion to spread the good news to my friends, i would have the desire to bear a good testimony, i would have the longing to be close to God and all. it's like my heart is growing colder nowadays. and i prayed the same prayer over n over again, saying to God please bring me back to Him and yet not doing anything about it. i must start setting apart time for Him once again.
my thoughts are very messy now. i know that it's very dangerous to say this prayer, but sometimes i do wish that my life would have more challenges, because i know that it is IN DIFFICULTIES, IN HARDSHIPS that we learnt the most, that i learn to depend on God the most. and i want to moulded and pruned by God even if it means breaking me down. i know that, in that way, i'll be closer to God. some tme i wish to be put thru hard times just to experience it n grow more into a stronger person. hmm, i knw im kinda weird, who would want challenges in their lives and complain bout how good life is. LOL! i dunno wat am i thinking larh. hahaha!
studies have been a challenge and i just only found out that my minimum requirement for sime darby is 75 and above. didnt knw tat it was tat hard at first. ITS actually a REALLY REALLY high mark and im scared. i started to wonder what if i really cant achieve it? then where would my life end up to be? hmmm. =)
anywaz, im just blaberring a lot nao. just to release some thoughts on my mind.
last week, as i went out for outings, i suddenly miss all my G8 frens a lot, its like places that i go to, i can actually imagine them there and by just thinking of them, it puts a smile on mu face. =) i dont think i will ever find a bunch of people like them where i can be so comfortable, who would go crazy WITH me and all. cant wait for another outing with them!! =)
something really coincident happen this week. just at the beginning of the week, i was chatting with this friend and we had a heart to heart talk and he told me how his mother pass away from cancer. and then on friday, after exams, i was walking around doing groceries shopping. and i heard my name, turned around and saw one of my friends. and he too, shared about how he recently lost his father.
IN THE SAME WEEK, there's two person who came to me sharing about how they lost their loved ones. it was so coincident and i felt like God was talking to me as if He's trying to tell me something.
and i guess, i realised that life is so unpredictable, and He was like telling me to APPRECIATE my family while i have them.
i felt really sad for them, i was lost for words, because i really cant imagine what its like living without my mother/ father. i would not know how to recover as well. and im very sure it will take them a LONG TIME to recover.
besides, it made me realised, im very blessed already that i have a loving COMPLETE family and should stop complaining bout this bout that and all. =)
2011, even the beginning was very busy already. and when i tend to get busy, i tend to neglect God. i started asking and wondering WHERE IS MY HEART that i once had? last time i used to CARE so much, i would write little little notes to my cell group members encouraging them and all, i would have a burning passion to spread the good news to my friends, i would have the desire to bear a good testimony, i would have the longing to be close to God and all. it's like my heart is growing colder nowadays. and i prayed the same prayer over n over again, saying to God please bring me back to Him and yet not doing anything about it. i must start setting apart time for Him once again.
my thoughts are very messy now. i know that it's very dangerous to say this prayer, but sometimes i do wish that my life would have more challenges, because i know that it is IN DIFFICULTIES, IN HARDSHIPS that we learnt the most, that i learn to depend on God the most. and i want to moulded and pruned by God even if it means breaking me down. i know that, in that way, i'll be closer to God. some tme i wish to be put thru hard times just to experience it n grow more into a stronger person. hmm, i knw im kinda weird, who would want challenges in their lives and complain bout how good life is. LOL! i dunno wat am i thinking larh. hahaha!
studies have been a challenge and i just only found out that my minimum requirement for sime darby is 75 and above. didnt knw tat it was tat hard at first. ITS actually a REALLY REALLY high mark and im scared. i started to wonder what if i really cant achieve it? then where would my life end up to be? hmmm. =)
anywaz, im just blaberring a lot nao. just to release some thoughts on my mind.
last week, as i went out for outings, i suddenly miss all my G8 frens a lot, its like places that i go to, i can actually imagine them there and by just thinking of them, it puts a smile on mu face. =) i dont think i will ever find a bunch of people like them where i can be so comfortable, who would go crazy WITH me and all. cant wait for another outing with them!! =)
Monday, March 28, 2011
the big picture
I NEVER expected medicine to cover such a WIDE scope. seriously, last time i use to think medicine is all about SAVING LIVES and HELPING PEOPLE. butttttttttt... IT'S SO MUCH MUCH MOREEEEEEEEEE than that. it involves EVERY aspect of life. u've gotta see each individual as a WHOLE not only physically, also emotionally, psychologically, mentally and everything.
SAVING one lives is NOT THAT easy after all. classes on ethics and law has been driving me crazy. It's all about the patient's autonomy and THEIR decision. our job is only to FACILITATE and in the end, the decision is all up to the patient. it's like - as a doctor, you want to perform an operation to save the person's life, but, if the patient choose to REFUSE the treatment, u've just gotta oblige n go with the decision. it's so hard, u wanna help, but yet you cant. i guess, u have to live with it, do the best that i can.
and... i'm still pretty afraid to hold the BIG RESPONSIBILITY of life. some times, i was just thinking, i would not want to have such HIGH authority. it scares me. A slip of my own hands can cause so much harm even to the extent of fatal harm. that day i was having a practical on injection. and i realised HOW EASY it is to just commit a mistake. just accidentally putting slight air into the patient's body can cause FATAL harm. oh mai, just such a SMALL mistake, can already cause so much harm. i really got to be so careful, n i'm afraid i cant live up to it.
but still, i believed God brought me into this line of medicine for a reason. and May He, with time, take away all this fears. =)
oh well, on a brighter note. i realised that no matter where i go, i receive the labels of CRAZINESS! anyhow, i still MISS the people that i FEEL MOST AT HOME, MOST COMFORTABLE WITH, and MOST BELONGED with - my SAM frens! i miss everyone of them. and as i go through each day, i can imagine them here at the moment, n situations and actually imagining what they would do/react.
i see places and stuffs, i could imagine what crazy pose they will make with me. i can imagine how they would laugh at all the stupid things that i do and say. LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH!
SAVING one lives is NOT THAT easy after all. classes on ethics and law has been driving me crazy. It's all about the patient's autonomy and THEIR decision. our job is only to FACILITATE and in the end, the decision is all up to the patient. it's like - as a doctor, you want to perform an operation to save the person's life, but, if the patient choose to REFUSE the treatment, u've just gotta oblige n go with the decision. it's so hard, u wanna help, but yet you cant. i guess, u have to live with it, do the best that i can.
and... i'm still pretty afraid to hold the BIG RESPONSIBILITY of life. some times, i was just thinking, i would not want to have such HIGH authority. it scares me. A slip of my own hands can cause so much harm even to the extent of fatal harm. that day i was having a practical on injection. and i realised HOW EASY it is to just commit a mistake. just accidentally putting slight air into the patient's body can cause FATAL harm. oh mai, just such a SMALL mistake, can already cause so much harm. i really got to be so careful, n i'm afraid i cant live up to it.
but still, i believed God brought me into this line of medicine for a reason. and May He, with time, take away all this fears. =)
oh well, on a brighter note. i realised that no matter where i go, i receive the labels of CRAZINESS! anyhow, i still MISS the people that i FEEL MOST AT HOME, MOST COMFORTABLE WITH, and MOST BELONGED with - my SAM frens! i miss everyone of them. and as i go through each day, i can imagine them here at the moment, n situations and actually imagining what they would do/react.
remember how the car actually STOP for this picture! HEHE!
Friday, March 18, 2011
Good Guilt
this song reminded me AGAIN an important lesson that i learnt last time.
GUILT that comes from God brings us back to Him, and brings us to victory, BUT GUILT that comes from Satan brings us down.
this thought in the song really struck me to me heart, that NO MATTER how many times i fail Him, IT'S JUST TOO ASSURING to know that HE STILL LOVES ME and all. the forgiveness of God that was shown on the cross is just amazing and some times hard for me to accept. THANK YOU LORD!
and i just pray that i will be drawn back to God, and not neglect Him in the midst of business.
anywaz, i'm really surprised at how i can keep in contact w my pre-uni frens, i never like really NEVER kept in contact w primary/secondary skul frens. it's already a few months we are away from each other, but yet, i still feel so close and confortable with all of them! candice, michelle, wenshi, gene, ian, sean, lilian, hsing hwa, and everyone, i got a feeling that i can keep in contact with you all for A LIFETIME, so you all wont be able to escape HULK TENG in ur life! WAKAKAKA! LOVE YOU GUYS!
Thursday, March 17, 2011
dunno wat title. hahaa!
"what we are learning now is just a piece of the jigsaw puzzle, soon, u'll be able to see the big picture, so take it easy."
this is what one of my lecturer said, and some how it touched me and made an impact since i remembered it so clearly.
cause reasonly, i've been so pressure and stressed cause of the people around me, people who like KNOWS everything, who keeps studying and reading up. it just scares me. and plus the work load and the hectic schedule, i nearly dunno how to manage. but of cz i find places to release my stress too like going swimming, playing basketball, and playing ping pong and all. i guess there's where BALANCE have to come in.
that's y those words assured me.
Friday, February 18, 2011
a new beginning!
goodbyes was never easy to say, but i admit that this time round was the hardest, i have never felt this way before. I dont even know when or how we became so attached and close friends, that when it comes to leaving, i was just too overwhelmed for words to express.
but yeaps, i have learn to let go, to know that we can still keep in contact.
plus, if i dont, i will never be able to find new friends cause i have a close mind, trying to find back friends that can replace them, that can be as crazy as them, that i can be as comfortable around them, but in actual fact, everyone is different, and we just gotta explore and get to know new people while still treasuring the old. =)
nevertheless, i will never forget the memories this people gave me, because it's the most awesome one i ever had!
time to face reality! my medicine course is gonna start in two days. I do not know what to feel actually.
scared but at the same time excited.
well, things i really got to work on is to try to focus in class. haha! i zone out like SUPER easily!
and i do more self study than listening to lectures and that's not good when entering uni level.
medicine, something that i was passionate about, and yet, something that i was dreadful about.
people keep asking me do i really want medicine. and i say yes. WHY?
my decision of medicine was triggered by a few cases.
firstly, there was this one time, i went to visit the orang asli settlements.
I happened to be talking to a mother, and she told me about her child.
She said "my child has cancer, but there's nothing i can do about it, because i cant afford to bring her to the hospital, i dont know what to do" and she said that with tears.
Somehow, i felt something, my heart reached out to her, and i talked to myself (it's not weird)
"if one day, i manage to be a doctor, i will come and help these poor, needy people, with minimal charges" and, i was quite sure, God was speaking through this situation. I told myself, that if i'm a doctor next time, i wont want to work in hospitals, but in rural areas with people who really really needs this help. *if possible*
secondly, i was a patient once, and during this whole period, it made me realise something.
to be able to cure sickness in this world, you need to have the qualification to do so, and that is to study the medicine course. I started to think how much I appreciated my doctor, he saved my life, he did everything he could to minimise the pain i felt and everything. I'm just so grateful to him, because everything when smoothly during the operation. This is when i though a doctor is so important and I was thinking "I want to be in that position one day, to be able to save these people that needs it"
thirdly, it's just suites what i am looking for. I have a heart for people, and i just want any career that has EVERYTHING that got to do with people. engineering(machines), research(laboratories) just doesnt go with me. i just love to be with people and to be able to help them.
well then, why do i dread it?
i became doubtful when i entered SAM... sam studies was really tough. and i kept thinking "if only with sam, the studies is already that hard, then can i actually take on medicine course? because i know it's so many many times harder that this"
besides, over the years, I realised i cant take the medical procedures.
and I discovered that my problem was i feel TOO MUCH.
when someone just TALKS about the part she's feeling pain, my body feels it too. haha, sound kinda funny.
but yea, for example when my babysister told me that she fell down and showed me the scar on her leg, that particular part of my body feel pain too. LOL.
i remembered the time i went to see endoscopy, the person was like keep wanting to spit the thing out, and i felt like vomiting and i just fainted. LOL again. hahaha!
and many other incidents...
i just cant stand to see a person in physical pain.
so i guess, even before i HOLD A KNIFE, i would think of that person's pain and FAINT! LOL!LOL!
that's my problem, i put myself in other people's shoe TOO MUCH! and being once in that position, a patient, does not help much, because i feel even more.
hahaha! and i know i just gotta overcome that.
being a doctor, cannot be too personal as well. and i do know that, that will be one of my weakness as well.
if let's say I did my best at saving a person's life, but in the end, the patient still dies. well, i know that i will definitely have a hard time. But doctors are supposed to be strong and take this things in, because it happens and not all patients can be save.
so these are the things i'm afraid of, and I have to learn, with time, to overcome them.
many people have asked me this questions, and i have finally sorted out the answer, sometimes, writing do help one understand herself better.
i am elena, who's gonna step into a new world of challenge and adventure. i'm not gonna be scared of failures, because we need it to learn,
i'm not gonna be scared of the studies, of how hard it's gonna be. I am ready, to stand up and take up this challenge! and one day, i will be doctor elena! HEHEHE=)
i never sound this confident for quite a while, oh well, i'm gaining it back now. wont let anything bring me down. and i know that in all this God is going to be my utmost helper! =)
Courage is simply the willingness to fear and act anyway -Dr Robert Anthony-
but yeaps, i have learn to let go, to know that we can still keep in contact.
plus, if i dont, i will never be able to find new friends cause i have a close mind, trying to find back friends that can replace them, that can be as crazy as them, that i can be as comfortable around them, but in actual fact, everyone is different, and we just gotta explore and get to know new people while still treasuring the old. =)
nevertheless, i will never forget the memories this people gave me, because it's the most awesome one i ever had!
time to face reality! my medicine course is gonna start in two days. I do not know what to feel actually.
scared but at the same time excited.
well, things i really got to work on is to try to focus in class. haha! i zone out like SUPER easily!
and i do more self study than listening to lectures and that's not good when entering uni level.
medicine, something that i was passionate about, and yet, something that i was dreadful about.
people keep asking me do i really want medicine. and i say yes. WHY?
my decision of medicine was triggered by a few cases.
firstly, there was this one time, i went to visit the orang asli settlements.
I happened to be talking to a mother, and she told me about her child.
She said "my child has cancer, but there's nothing i can do about it, because i cant afford to bring her to the hospital, i dont know what to do" and she said that with tears.
Somehow, i felt something, my heart reached out to her, and i talked to myself (it's not weird)
"if one day, i manage to be a doctor, i will come and help these poor, needy people, with minimal charges" and, i was quite sure, God was speaking through this situation. I told myself, that if i'm a doctor next time, i wont want to work in hospitals, but in rural areas with people who really really needs this help. *if possible*
secondly, i was a patient once, and during this whole period, it made me realise something.
to be able to cure sickness in this world, you need to have the qualification to do so, and that is to study the medicine course. I started to think how much I appreciated my doctor, he saved my life, he did everything he could to minimise the pain i felt and everything. I'm just so grateful to him, because everything when smoothly during the operation. This is when i though a doctor is so important and I was thinking "I want to be in that position one day, to be able to save these people that needs it"
thirdly, it's just suites what i am looking for. I have a heart for people, and i just want any career that has EVERYTHING that got to do with people. engineering(machines), research(laboratories) just doesnt go with me. i just love to be with people and to be able to help them.
well then, why do i dread it?
i became doubtful when i entered SAM... sam studies was really tough. and i kept thinking "if only with sam, the studies is already that hard, then can i actually take on medicine course? because i know it's so many many times harder that this"
besides, over the years, I realised i cant take the medical procedures.
and I discovered that my problem was i feel TOO MUCH.
when someone just TALKS about the part she's feeling pain, my body feels it too. haha, sound kinda funny.
but yea, for example when my babysister told me that she fell down and showed me the scar on her leg, that particular part of my body feel pain too. LOL.
i remembered the time i went to see endoscopy, the person was like keep wanting to spit the thing out, and i felt like vomiting and i just fainted. LOL again. hahaha!
and many other incidents...
i just cant stand to see a person in physical pain.
so i guess, even before i HOLD A KNIFE, i would think of that person's pain and FAINT! LOL!LOL!
that's my problem, i put myself in other people's shoe TOO MUCH! and being once in that position, a patient, does not help much, because i feel even more.
hahaha! and i know i just gotta overcome that.
being a doctor, cannot be too personal as well. and i do know that, that will be one of my weakness as well.
if let's say I did my best at saving a person's life, but in the end, the patient still dies. well, i know that i will definitely have a hard time. But doctors are supposed to be strong and take this things in, because it happens and not all patients can be save.
so these are the things i'm afraid of, and I have to learn, with time, to overcome them.
many people have asked me this questions, and i have finally sorted out the answer, sometimes, writing do help one understand herself better.
i am elena, who's gonna step into a new world of challenge and adventure. i'm not gonna be scared of failures, because we need it to learn,
i'm not gonna be scared of the studies, of how hard it's gonna be. I am ready, to stand up and take up this challenge! and one day, i will be doctor elena! HEHEHE=)
i never sound this confident for quite a while, oh well, i'm gaining it back now. wont let anything bring me down. and i know that in all this God is going to be my utmost helper! =)
Courage is simply the willingness to fear and act anyway -Dr Robert Anthony-
medicine, i will not fear you anymore!
Friday, February 4, 2011
random!
nice timing that i've got my liscense! have been driving my parents all around for visitation!
anywaz, something interesting i found out!
there was this girl from taylor's college doing SAM in G5 that is eunice.
SHE WAS ACTUALLY A DISTANT COUSIN OF MINE, and i just got to know when her family came to visit me. HAHAHA! the whole year in taylor's, in the SAME LAN class, i didnt realise until tat day!
hahaha! small world indeed!
and... not only that... it was really coincident, cause she is ALSO doing medicine in monash! heh. and she is also an only child same like me! LOL!
and... i realise that one of sean's brother's friend is actually my COUSIN as well! heh=)
SMALL WORLD!
randomly galnced through stuffs and saw people posting - had a wonderful meet up with old classmates.
and i just wonder and hoped that i can keep in contact with my current classmate for THAT long. and meet up later in life! =)
this post is so messy, cause i'm just simply krapping.
ahah, my backbone can be weird some times, i can feel a sharp pain at times, like a needle poking into me.
HAHAHA! =)
and as much as i LOVE sports and would want to do it, i feel that's a restriction.
like when i was cycling the other day, i thought that my hands werent long enough, or the seat was not adjusted front enough, but i realised (after my friend told me), that it was actually cause i cant bend my back, and it's straight when i cycle. hahaha, how funny is tat!
well, i actually miss tracks and running competitions... some times i would try to run, but then again, i feel the strain. even in badminton and captain ball, i feel the strain. but i just love playing all these sports.
i realised all these last year actually, cause i started doing vigorous things for the first time after my operation. and my friend pointed out to me that my back was straight even when i bend down, i really didnt know until thay told me. miss sports so much for ONE YEAR, cant do it after the opt!
some time when i look into the mirror, i also see that one of my shoulder is higher than the other. HAHA!
been wondering whether i should take out my titanium screws and rods! hahaha! is it worth all the operation pain again, to go through it once again. hmmm.! BUT the most funny thing is, WHAT I AM THINKING...
i was thinking with my titanium inside, CAN I GET PREGNANT? LOL! that's so random, it just pop in my mind. haha=) but all these can wait, still long time more till my bones stop growing.
well, my accommodation for monash have some problems. my sponsor had not given enough money for it, so we are deciding whether to move to the walk-up-flat without aircond which is much cheper. see how larh.
ANYWAZ, wish all of you happy CNY! i'm kinda addicted to driving now, grab every chance to drive when my dad's around so that i can be more stable to drive alone later!
anywaz, something interesting i found out!
there was this girl from taylor's college doing SAM in G5 that is eunice.
SHE WAS ACTUALLY A DISTANT COUSIN OF MINE, and i just got to know when her family came to visit me. HAHAHA! the whole year in taylor's, in the SAME LAN class, i didnt realise until tat day!
hahaha! small world indeed!
and... not only that... it was really coincident, cause she is ALSO doing medicine in monash! heh. and she is also an only child same like me! LOL!
and... i realise that one of sean's brother's friend is actually my COUSIN as well! heh=)
SMALL WORLD!
randomly galnced through stuffs and saw people posting - had a wonderful meet up with old classmates.
and i just wonder and hoped that i can keep in contact with my current classmate for THAT long. and meet up later in life! =)
this post is so messy, cause i'm just simply krapping.
ahah, my backbone can be weird some times, i can feel a sharp pain at times, like a needle poking into me.
HAHAHA! =)
and as much as i LOVE sports and would want to do it, i feel that's a restriction.
like when i was cycling the other day, i thought that my hands werent long enough, or the seat was not adjusted front enough, but i realised (after my friend told me), that it was actually cause i cant bend my back, and it's straight when i cycle. hahaha, how funny is tat!
well, i actually miss tracks and running competitions... some times i would try to run, but then again, i feel the strain. even in badminton and captain ball, i feel the strain. but i just love playing all these sports.
i realised all these last year actually, cause i started doing vigorous things for the first time after my operation. and my friend pointed out to me that my back was straight even when i bend down, i really didnt know until thay told me. miss sports so much for ONE YEAR, cant do it after the opt!
some time when i look into the mirror, i also see that one of my shoulder is higher than the other. HAHA!
been wondering whether i should take out my titanium screws and rods! hahaha! is it worth all the operation pain again, to go through it once again. hmmm.! BUT the most funny thing is, WHAT I AM THINKING...
i was thinking with my titanium inside, CAN I GET PREGNANT? LOL! that's so random, it just pop in my mind. haha=) but all these can wait, still long time more till my bones stop growing.
well, my accommodation for monash have some problems. my sponsor had not given enough money for it, so we are deciding whether to move to the walk-up-flat without aircond which is much cheper. see how larh.
ANYWAZ, wish all of you happy CNY! i'm kinda addicted to driving now, grab every chance to drive when my dad's around so that i can be more stable to drive alone later!
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
BEST TWO DAYS EVER!
yes, i have been blogging a lot about these people, but cause i love them very much and they mean a lot to me..
anywaz, we went on a two days adventure and i know if i went to these places without them, i would not have SO MUCH FUN and CRAZY moments!
our journey started at seven eleven outside kelana jaya station with this two crazy homeless woman waiting for their partner who was caught in a jam! sean, our tour guide was already waiting for us at petaling street! LOL.
we went to COUNTLESS places... REALLY. we use OUR LEGS as our transport the WHOLE day! but it was WORTH IT. we had so much fun.
well, i have friends that when i told them I REALLY FEEL LIKE JUMPING IN the rail way tracks, they would do it with me.
this is the FUNNIEST picture! how my TITANIUM in my backbone was put to good use! candice was hitting my titanium for GOOD HEALTH!
WE conquered the whole WORLD that day!
we, THE THICK FACE ppl, ask a FOREIGNER to capture this jump shot for us, and YES, we are THAT crazY!
we even RELIVE our childhood memory. eating our once loved NYAM NYAM when we were still kids.
and later, we found the buble balloon, (HOW EXCITED we were when we saw it!) and played it while waiting for ian to finish his visa.
I LOVE you all for being so sporting, i just feel so comfortable going crazy with you all because you all make me feel so ACCEPTED AND BELONG!
we climbed over the fence JUST to get to the grass! and later realised that there was an opening actually.
HILARIOUS!
and how you all laughed at me when i lied down on the SEMI WET GRASS.
this are all good times to be cherish!
we even conquer THE BOY'S TOILET! WOOTS~
and how we thought we were still CHILDREN, running eagerly to the KLCC park and played in the swimming pool. CANDICE, u SPLASHED me SO WET! HMPH!
we really *thought* we were kids until the guards came and "PI PI PI PI" blow their wisels at us.
and how we didnt even mind and continued to play in the playground doing all sorts of funny moves.
oh well, these were the few *OVERAGED* incidents
GAH! I CAN FIT IN HERE!
ahaH! even two person can fit on a slide YO!
except this one, CAUSE she REALLY DO LOOK LIKE GENUINE ONE
and how we remember everyone even when they are not with us.
saw vegetarian notices and rabbits, we think of wen shi!
and when we see cute little baby here, we think of lilian
of funny expressions...of funny acts... and of funny faces...
the ever famous donald duck face yo!
YO! DVD SELLER! cheaper larhh!
how sean CAMOUFLAGED with the cny decorations.
...of how she thought she was a car.
the day ended with a crazy sleepover.
the next day was full of acvtivities again..woohoo!
went to bukit cahaya for cycling! an awesome experience with crazy people!
of how a random photo can become an epic poster picture! *LOVE*
ahah! i scared everyone with my *mini* accident! everyone was so concerned! =) man, it was only my second time cycling and it was uphills and downhills already.
i saved my life awesomely
this was HOW we went to australia TOGETHER and saw snow~
SO SUPER COLD!
WE ARE SO LADYLIKE PPL!!!
...of how SPORTING this people were. randomly sat down IN THE MIDDLE OF A ROAD to LOU SANG while listening out for cars/motorbikes!
the best yee sang ever!
YAY!
of how we stood on these wood planks doing some crazy moves for over 40 PHOTOS
when we reached back at taylor's college. some of them went back. and the rest went to meet up with ivan and gene. sadly, i couldnt go. and looking at them, my heart keeps telling me "this is sort of the last time i will see them before they fly off", i was in fact very very sad.
after they left, i just sat down and emo but tried to controlled my tears til i got into the car.
i will seriously miss these people so so much! i love them to bits! cant even say the word goodbye, cause i'm afraid that i'll tear. thanks, all of you, for being so sweet,awesome,crazy,thoughtful,caring,funny,sarcastic,supportive,and most of all, accepting everyone as they are~
will always cherish these friendships we made and will try my best to keep in touch!
this song's words describe us!
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
God's word speaks!
spending some quiet time with God can be amazing.
i opened the Bible to ephesians 2 v 1-10 today, and God spoke to my heart. God's word is like a sword piercing into the heart, it searches the heart, it prunes it and bring it to realisation and repentance.
this verse especially hit me hard.
"all of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature and following its desires and thoughts..." eph2v3
I remember one night in RBS, i was in tears talking to God. I totally let out how i felt and just being honest with Him.
I told Him that i was really scared to start a new year in taylor's college. everything was in a really really big rush. initially, i didnt even think of taylor's college or sam. my plan was maybe form six or a levels. never in my life have i heard of sam before. When i realise I received the Sime darby scholarship, i should be happy, but i was confused, there was so much to absorb. and suddenly, just like that, change of plans.
That night in RBS, I told Him how puzzled and insecure i felt. I was very very scared that i will stray away from Him, that i will turn into a bad person, that i will not stand strong in the faith, that i will start to neglect Him when i get busy studying...
and true enough, some of the fears did come true. I did stray away and I did not stay close to Him.
and some times like the verse say, I even enjoy following the cravings of my sinful nature, its desires and its thoughts. I even CHOOSE to be in the wrong, just cause it's so much easier. and it was my own desire to neglect God. it was just so much easier to be absorb into the world rather than staying strong in the faith and always guarding my heart from all evil things.
At times, i even questioned God why is it that being in the right is so hard. I chose to turn my back against Him, i chose to stray away and stop doing my quiet time. I even asked God why must i always be the one who shows love, why must i always be the one who comforts, i was once again feeling tired of all this.
and this verse hit me hard. i realised how rebellious i was. and all this tiredness...the source of it all... was ...
cause in the first place, my spiritual walk was wrong and i chose it to be that way.
but even when i was faithless he was still faithful!
and that's how wonderful it is. like how He spoke to me today, even though all this while i have been so rebellious, He was still trying to bring me back to Him. and how He used this verse to give me a wake up call. I really need to get back to Him. He is the source of my strength and love, if even this channel is cut off, then where would i find the strength to once again conquer all this tiredness "spiritually".
that's how amazing christianity is, it speakes to the heart. and to be able to feel His voice and His presence, that feel just cant be describe even more. you've gotta experience it yourself.
I am once again touched by God's love. We did not earn His love, but He loved us unconditionally.
"for it is by grace you have been saved, through faith-and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God-not by works, so that no one can boast." eph2v8-9.
this was the other verse that touched me too. God's gift of love is so amazing, He offers it to all who receives it, and the wonderful thing is, it is just by believing that you receive it, not by earning it or by doing good works.
indeed it is by grace that we are saved!
this song is a prayer from the bottom of my heart. Oh Lord, draw me close to You, indeed You are my only desire and i lay it all down before You once again.
i opened the Bible to ephesians 2 v 1-10 today, and God spoke to my heart. God's word is like a sword piercing into the heart, it searches the heart, it prunes it and bring it to realisation and repentance.
this verse especially hit me hard.
"all of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature and following its desires and thoughts..." eph2v3
I remember one night in RBS, i was in tears talking to God. I totally let out how i felt and just being honest with Him.
I told Him that i was really scared to start a new year in taylor's college. everything was in a really really big rush. initially, i didnt even think of taylor's college or sam. my plan was maybe form six or a levels. never in my life have i heard of sam before. When i realise I received the Sime darby scholarship, i should be happy, but i was confused, there was so much to absorb. and suddenly, just like that, change of plans.
That night in RBS, I told Him how puzzled and insecure i felt. I was very very scared that i will stray away from Him, that i will turn into a bad person, that i will not stand strong in the faith, that i will start to neglect Him when i get busy studying...
and true enough, some of the fears did come true. I did stray away and I did not stay close to Him.
and some times like the verse say, I even enjoy following the cravings of my sinful nature, its desires and its thoughts. I even CHOOSE to be in the wrong, just cause it's so much easier. and it was my own desire to neglect God. it was just so much easier to be absorb into the world rather than staying strong in the faith and always guarding my heart from all evil things.
At times, i even questioned God why is it that being in the right is so hard. I chose to turn my back against Him, i chose to stray away and stop doing my quiet time. I even asked God why must i always be the one who shows love, why must i always be the one who comforts, i was once again feeling tired of all this.
and this verse hit me hard. i realised how rebellious i was. and all this tiredness...the source of it all... was ...
cause in the first place, my spiritual walk was wrong and i chose it to be that way.
but even when i was faithless he was still faithful!
and that's how wonderful it is. like how He spoke to me today, even though all this while i have been so rebellious, He was still trying to bring me back to Him. and how He used this verse to give me a wake up call. I really need to get back to Him. He is the source of my strength and love, if even this channel is cut off, then where would i find the strength to once again conquer all this tiredness "spiritually".
that's how amazing christianity is, it speakes to the heart. and to be able to feel His voice and His presence, that feel just cant be describe even more. you've gotta experience it yourself.
I am once again touched by God's love. We did not earn His love, but He loved us unconditionally.
"for it is by grace you have been saved, through faith-and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God-not by works, so that no one can boast." eph2v8-9.
this was the other verse that touched me too. God's gift of love is so amazing, He offers it to all who receives it, and the wonderful thing is, it is just by believing that you receive it, not by earning it or by doing good works.
indeed it is by grace that we are saved!
this song is a prayer from the bottom of my heart. Oh Lord, draw me close to You, indeed You are my only desire and i lay it all down before You once again.
Monday, January 24, 2011
parents...
today i suddenly thot of the day of my operation. couldnt really remeber what happen, but this was what my mum told me.
before i went into the operating theatre, my mum was with me, and she was really worried. I could see it on her face. But, this was what i told her "mummy, dont worry, God will surely take care of me, I am His child too". later after the operation and everything, she told me that those words really brought her to tears inside her heart.
and just by hearing that, i was encouraged.
some times, people say i'm a carefree, happy-go-lucky girl, and i do wonder that this is not very good.
but in situations like that, being carefree can sometimes release the tension a little. =)
well, going through an operation with the risk of paralysis is indeed not easy. spinal cord. major opt. seven hour full anathesia. really no joke. and most of the time, the people around me were more worried than i was.
i guess, that was how i cope to be calm. and of course, God gave me the utmost peace.
why did i suddenly think of this? i was just thinking back of how much my parents actually sacrifice for me just cause of this major operation in my life.
i remember after the operation, i was really in SEVERE pain, and all the time, i was actually screaming and shouting all the time. taking care of a patient like this, I KNOW, it's NOT easy!! but yet, my mother was so patient with me. i keep shouting for pathedine (my painkiller) and yet my parents still love me as much! =)
they took so many leaves, and they just slept with me in the hospital. countless sacrifices they have made.
just spewing thoughts.
i am an only child, and all of you ask do i ever want siblings. the answer is definitely YESHH!
i really want to have siblings, even though i know there'll be many fights and all.
but yeah, i'm contented to be an only child in my family as well.
usually, when people hear i'm the only child, i always get that particular stare giving the message - u must b a spoil kid then. and i do not like that look.
for all that i know, i am not a spoil kid, and consider myself quite independent. i am proud to be an only child i am really happy with the way my parents brought me up. i am happy that they did not manja me and give in to everything that i want. i am glad that they are not overprotective.
one thing i am really glad is the freedom they give me. they give me seriously A LOT of freedom. and that in itself let me know how much they actually trust me, allowing to venture life's pathway, do the mistakes and wrong things for me to learn life's process. as it's in the mistakes that i'm hurt and learn from it. and to know all this trust in me, I KNOW, that i must not abuse this freedom given to me.i am just happy with the way i turned out.
people say when you loose some thing, only you will learn to appreciate it. and that's very true.
last year, living out of home make me appreciate my parents more. i realised how much they have actually done for me all my life. all the scrifices they made for me to bring me up.
even in my education and universities application, even during the period when my future was at stake, they were there supporting me still. my parents told me, we might not have the finance for medicine without sime darby, but if that is really what you want to do, we will find a way and God will prpare a way.
that few words already made me feel secure!
thank you papa n mama! sorry for the times i argue/talk back. i love you all a lot.
and even as i grow up now, and leaving home, i knwo you all will miss me a lot, especially mummy. I LOVE YOU BOTH! and i'm proud to be your only daughter despite what other people think of me.
to have this support, no matter how tough medicine would be, i know i will try my very best. and even if i faint, i faint. but i will definitely stand up again to face my fears. i will not let u down.
and of course i have God with me, so what else should i fear. where is the courage and bravery i once had, elena ng! why did SAM make u loose so much self confidence! YOU CAN DO IT man!
plus with the friends who never gave up on you. will definitely make them proud.
look at things as SIMPLE and it will be. it's humans that complicate it.
toodles~
before i went into the operating theatre, my mum was with me, and she was really worried. I could see it on her face. But, this was what i told her "mummy, dont worry, God will surely take care of me, I am His child too". later after the operation and everything, she told me that those words really brought her to tears inside her heart.
and just by hearing that, i was encouraged.
some times, people say i'm a carefree, happy-go-lucky girl, and i do wonder that this is not very good.
but in situations like that, being carefree can sometimes release the tension a little. =)
well, going through an operation with the risk of paralysis is indeed not easy. spinal cord. major opt. seven hour full anathesia. really no joke. and most of the time, the people around me were more worried than i was.
i guess, that was how i cope to be calm. and of course, God gave me the utmost peace.
why did i suddenly think of this? i was just thinking back of how much my parents actually sacrifice for me just cause of this major operation in my life.
i remember after the operation, i was really in SEVERE pain, and all the time, i was actually screaming and shouting all the time. taking care of a patient like this, I KNOW, it's NOT easy!! but yet, my mother was so patient with me. i keep shouting for pathedine (my painkiller) and yet my parents still love me as much! =)
they took so many leaves, and they just slept with me in the hospital. countless sacrifices they have made.
just spewing thoughts.
i am an only child, and all of you ask do i ever want siblings. the answer is definitely YESHH!
i really want to have siblings, even though i know there'll be many fights and all.
but yeah, i'm contented to be an only child in my family as well.
usually, when people hear i'm the only child, i always get that particular stare giving the message - u must b a spoil kid then. and i do not like that look.
for all that i know, i am not a spoil kid, and consider myself quite independent. i am proud to be an only child i am really happy with the way my parents brought me up. i am happy that they did not manja me and give in to everything that i want. i am glad that they are not overprotective.
one thing i am really glad is the freedom they give me. they give me seriously A LOT of freedom. and that in itself let me know how much they actually trust me, allowing to venture life's pathway, do the mistakes and wrong things for me to learn life's process. as it's in the mistakes that i'm hurt and learn from it. and to know all this trust in me, I KNOW, that i must not abuse this freedom given to me.i am just happy with the way i turned out.
people say when you loose some thing, only you will learn to appreciate it. and that's very true.
last year, living out of home make me appreciate my parents more. i realised how much they have actually done for me all my life. all the scrifices they made for me to bring me up.
even in my education and universities application, even during the period when my future was at stake, they were there supporting me still. my parents told me, we might not have the finance for medicine without sime darby, but if that is really what you want to do, we will find a way and God will prpare a way.
that few words already made me feel secure!
thank you papa n mama! sorry for the times i argue/talk back. i love you all a lot.
and even as i grow up now, and leaving home, i knwo you all will miss me a lot, especially mummy. I LOVE YOU BOTH! and i'm proud to be your only daughter despite what other people think of me.
to have this support, no matter how tough medicine would be, i know i will try my very best. and even if i faint, i faint. but i will definitely stand up again to face my fears. i will not let u down.
and of course i have God with me, so what else should i fear. where is the courage and bravery i once had, elena ng! why did SAM make u loose so much self confidence! YOU CAN DO IT man!
plus with the friends who never gave up on you. will definitely make them proud.
look at things as SIMPLE and it will be. it's humans that complicate it.
toodles~
Sunday, January 23, 2011
God loves reaches FAR.
2011 have not really sunk in until today.
we were talking about new year resolutions in youth fellowship today and i just realised it's 2011, not 2010 anymore.
my ultimate goal this year is to work on my spiritual walk and stay close to Him, spending every morning for quiet time, no matter how tough.
i am once again reminded of God's love for me today~
it's amazing how God actually speak to the heart. i was touched by a story told this morning.
there was this spanish daughter and father. well, the daughter came back one day with the new testament spanish bible, and was reading it. the father saw and snatch it away from her and told her NEVER to touch that book again, everything inside is NOT true. so, he kept it in his bag. he was working at the mining industry. he went to work on that same day and never came back again after that. 31 of them were trapped!
well, when they reach them, it was not a happy ending, all 31 of them did not suvived. BUT they saw this father holding on to that bible and wrote a note to his daughter - YOU MUST READ this book, everything is true. he signed off with a few others name.
i was touched to realise how God's love actually reaches out to all people in amazing ways that we, humans never expect. =) never look down on how powerful He can be. I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU JESUS!
we were talking about new year resolutions in youth fellowship today and i just realised it's 2011, not 2010 anymore.
my ultimate goal this year is to work on my spiritual walk and stay close to Him, spending every morning for quiet time, no matter how tough.
i am once again reminded of God's love for me today~
it's amazing how God actually speak to the heart. i was touched by a story told this morning.
there was this spanish daughter and father. well, the daughter came back one day with the new testament spanish bible, and was reading it. the father saw and snatch it away from her and told her NEVER to touch that book again, everything inside is NOT true. so, he kept it in his bag. he was working at the mining industry. he went to work on that same day and never came back again after that. 31 of them were trapped!
well, when they reach them, it was not a happy ending, all 31 of them did not suvived. BUT they saw this father holding on to that bible and wrote a note to his daughter - YOU MUST READ this book, everything is true. he signed off with a few others name.
i was touched to realise how God's love actually reaches out to all people in amazing ways that we, humans never expect. =) never look down on how powerful He can be. I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU JESUS!
Saturday, January 22, 2011
i laughed the most last year.. didnt even survive college, one day WITHOUT laughing.
ahah! the inside jokes were never ending.
BLONDIE at B floor *same spot* alwaz, how we will shout n laugh wenever we see johnathan, stalk his clothes, shouting at taylor's roof top, encik murni claimed as my destiny, adam's apple, S and R, michelle and her overturn umbrella, shouting as we enter complexs, sme black ppl shouting at us BODOH GILA, went into the toilet laughing and the cleaner shouted BISING LAH, unspeakables jokes, pyjamas pants, table cloth shirt, HULKING, courting ritual with a black crow, all the MMS photos we use to send when we're bored studying, how we veeted adrianna, how we tatooed all the guys at pris's birthday, how we wet ian on his birthday, how we scream in cinema watching horror, how we would find all the exotic guys for lilian, how KIASU CLUB was formed, how we just randomly went to klang and hsing just joined us, how we baked with TEPUNG GANDUM and failed, how we FOC in msn w wen shi, mich and me, how mich, u will stop when it comes to narrow roads, how mich will stone when she drop a water bottle in the middle of the road, how we match make each other to one of candice's friends, how we went skating together, how we just kept on eating last whole year, how we went shopping till we die, how we pass notes in class and got caught by Ms Doh, how candice will take BIG photos of herself, how we bought one whole watermelon for seannie, bought lycee tea for wen shy, how we bought ice cream for sean and see how he mix it, how we took crazeee photos together, how we rush for chem class, how we promoted ian MORE THAN our books, how we just laughed, laughed and laughed till we want to pee so much!!!!and went to star bucks for tat reason. OMG, the list goes on. we seriously did not pass one day WITHOUT laughing.
time really flies, soon, all this will be in the past. and i can say - i truly miss all these funny moments we had together~
ahah! the inside jokes were never ending.
BLONDIE at B floor *same spot* alwaz, how we will shout n laugh wenever we see johnathan, stalk his clothes, shouting at taylor's roof top, encik murni claimed as my destiny, adam's apple, S and R, michelle and her overturn umbrella, shouting as we enter complexs, sme black ppl shouting at us BODOH GILA, went into the toilet laughing and the cleaner shouted BISING LAH, unspeakables jokes, pyjamas pants, table cloth shirt, HULKING, courting ritual with a black crow, all the MMS photos we use to send when we're bored studying, how we veeted adrianna, how we tatooed all the guys at pris's birthday, how we wet ian on his birthday, how we scream in cinema watching horror, how we would find all the exotic guys for lilian, how KIASU CLUB was formed, how we just randomly went to klang and hsing just joined us, how we baked with TEPUNG GANDUM and failed, how we FOC in msn w wen shi, mich and me, how mich, u will stop when it comes to narrow roads, how mich will stone when she drop a water bottle in the middle of the road, how we match make each other to one of candice's friends, how we went skating together, how we just kept on eating last whole year, how we went shopping till we die, how we pass notes in class and got caught by Ms Doh, how candice will take BIG photos of herself, how we bought one whole watermelon for seannie, bought lycee tea for wen shy, how we bought ice cream for sean and see how he mix it, how we took crazeee photos together, how we rush for chem class, how we promoted ian MORE THAN our books, how we just laughed, laughed and laughed till we want to pee so much!!!!and went to star bucks for tat reason. OMG, the list goes on. we seriously did not pass one day WITHOUT laughing.
time really flies, soon, all this will be in the past. and i can say - i truly miss all these funny moments we had together~
Sunday, January 16, 2011
scared
sighs.. the feelings are coming back.
actually i have a lot of friends doing medicine, and everyone is warning me about how tough medicine will be and everything.
some were talking about post mortem, how we have to cut up dead bodies. GOSH, i think before i even hold the knife or whatever, i faint dy!!!!
besides, my church friend say u better be reading a lot now, because i will suffer if my english still stay as bad as now.
yet another aunty tried to talk me into changing course and to give up my medicine course, saying it is too tough and all.
some told me that you will definitely have no family time in future.
and others say, you will die during housemanship, they will torture you like crazy and everything.
well, all this stuffs and hearing what people say really scares me off some times and i keep thinking am i strong enough or am i able to really finish this course sucessfully? i am really scared to think about it.
but yet, i have the assurance once again, that if God has started this whole thing from the beginning, He will definitely accomplish it. and being in His will is always the best. no matter how hard, how tough, we are His children and He will take care of us, plus he promised us to never to give us something that we cannot bear or over our own limits.
trusting Him in my future studies and collecting the courage to face this tough medicine course. have faith!
actually i have a lot of friends doing medicine, and everyone is warning me about how tough medicine will be and everything.
some were talking about post mortem, how we have to cut up dead bodies. GOSH, i think before i even hold the knife or whatever, i faint dy!!!!
besides, my church friend say u better be reading a lot now, because i will suffer if my english still stay as bad as now.
yet another aunty tried to talk me into changing course and to give up my medicine course, saying it is too tough and all.
some told me that you will definitely have no family time in future.
and others say, you will die during housemanship, they will torture you like crazy and everything.
well, all this stuffs and hearing what people say really scares me off some times and i keep thinking am i strong enough or am i able to really finish this course sucessfully? i am really scared to think about it.
but yet, i have the assurance once again, that if God has started this whole thing from the beginning, He will definitely accomplish it. and being in His will is always the best. no matter how hard, how tough, we are His children and He will take care of us, plus he promised us to never to give us something that we cannot bear or over our own limits.
trusting Him in my future studies and collecting the courage to face this tough medicine course. have faith!
Saturday, January 15, 2011
so touched!
went to help out in this bidor camp reunion.
instead, i was more encouraged by just being there. talked with a few of them and their experiences make me feel that i am so so blessed.
this gurl who shared her testimony really really touched my heart. it made me feel tears in my eyes.
this was the sentence that really touched and moved my heart -
since young, i have not seen my parents, i dont even know my father's name, not until i saw my birth certificate, but so what, i have Jesus Christ and that is all i need! *saying it with watery eyes*
whoah, i was so so so touched man! such faith, i really admire her for tat courage to share so personal stuffs in front of everyone. salute her!
instead, i was more encouraged by just being there. talked with a few of them and their experiences make me feel that i am so so blessed.
this gurl who shared her testimony really really touched my heart. it made me feel tears in my eyes.
this was the sentence that really touched and moved my heart -
since young, i have not seen my parents, i dont even know my father's name, not until i saw my birth certificate, but so what, i have Jesus Christ and that is all i need! *saying it with watery eyes*
whoah, i was so so so touched man! such faith, i really admire her for tat courage to share so personal stuffs in front of everyone. salute her!
Saturday, January 8, 2011
BE PROUD G8
Thursday, January 6, 2011
before i stepped into a totally new place, new people in universities,
let me cherish the memories in G8! I will miss G8 so badly. this goodbye is really hard to say.
everyone will be leaving soon for studies and it makes me really sad to think of it. which is whyy the start of this blog post! every single one of you in G8 means so much to me. and i am very sure that the memories you all gave me will always stay.
this was the place i found true, geinuine friends. awesome people who are willing to go CRAZY with me.
everyone accept each other as they are, in G8, and no one is left out.
it's a place where you can JUST BE URSELF n do not need to care much.
this was the people who held me especially when i was down and sad. just seeing them would already put a smile on my face.
i spent most of time with this awesome people this yearr and i can truly say i am so grateful to meet all of them.
SEAN
think of sean, everyone will mention WATERMELON.
seannie is sweet in his own special ways larh, he send or write messages that i find very personal and suitable for that particular person. =) gives me the genuine feel!
well, you will still have 5 YEARS to bear with me since i'll be in the same uni with you. GOOD OR BAD? LOL!
ADRIAN
HAHA! adrian will always be our sista! NOW AND FOREVERMORE!
awww, adrian not only you are NOT manly, but you are HAIRY too. hehehe=)
I always remember the day you send me back to casa, so sweet of you, even though that place is like super jam!=) thx for driving us around!
anywaz, dun dream of getting your manhood back, cause you'll remain a sista to all of us!
IAN
hmmm.. my fellow sime darby scholar!
well, this was the picture that i embarassed my self totally!
anywaz, thanks for all your *GOOD* and strict advises NOT to use answers when doing my maths.
and also NOT telling me the answer until i use my brains and think myself. (and i definitely have one ok) haha, well, it does sound weird BUT it really works for solving problems!
continue to share your *wonderful* knowledge with everyone! =)
see you in future sime darby events! =)
WEN SHI
remember this? how we blind folded you on your birthday and surprise you with your BROMANCE PARTNER ivan!
TAI KOR, you are really like my big brother.
i still have the chat log of how you taught us maths through msn, so nice of you la! =)
thanks for alwaz being there and listening to my whines and when i was really down that night.
You encouraged me a lot, and always make me smile.
when you are gone, who will be fetching me to and from kelana jaya? sobs. ='(
IVAN
think of you, I'll think of DURIANS.
ivan, you are also another sweet *like sugar* guy whom i met in my life.LOL!
you always remember us and will send messages showing your concern, asking how was our results, wishing us happy new year, all the best for exams and all. THANKS a lot for all those sms and remembering us. =)
GENE
i'll always remember what you said to me one day. Well, I dont know if you remember, but you said this, "if sime darby chose you, you must be of some quality, if they can do it,why cant you?" something like that. well,at that time i was actually doubting why am I a sime darby scholar compared to the rest, so it did mean a lot to me. =)
PRISCILLA
HEY *PURE* CHINESE!
u saw through my smiles and knew that i was sad. so sweet of you of just asking " are you okay?" I seldom emo, so maybe once i'm sad people can see through. haha=) thx for beeing there.
You are the one who will laugh at the stupid things i say. and you even asked me to call you during study break or when you are down so that i can make you laugh with all the stupid things i said. HAHAHA! so funnny~
you still have 5 years of that you know? hahaha=0
LILIAN
HELLO weirdo, you are always the unique one out of all of us. We APPLY that even when buying clothes for you, and chose you the WILD GREEN shirt! LOL!
thanks for being concern bout my uni and sime darby stuffs. =) oh well, we end up in the same uni! for 5 years, you'll be stuck with HULK teng! can take it? HEHE! i remember how one day we were studying in the silent zone, and you were really nice, teaching me and all.GOOD TIMES~ wahhh! i will miss having midnight talks with you man, ur stories so interesting, although u dont tell much.
anywaz, TRANSPORTER, thanks for driving us around so much. and i will always remember how you will shout at me loudly in the middle of the road and i will get really shocked! DONT cause an accident ok! BLUEKS! love watching movie in your house too, cause the screen is so big!
go chase after your dreams ok - that is BIEBER! hahahaha=) i will support you!
CANDICE
HOW DARE YOU TELL ALL THE EMBARASSING STUFFS TO C! GRRR! to someone whom i still have reputation with. I'll kill you one day if you continue to report!
dice! i will miss you so much, it's been a great year with you. and i will always remember how we went to prayer meeting in the morning and always get scolded by Ms Doh cause we are ALWAYS late. haha.
i'm so glad i had you to just talk and share about stuffs.
and in the notes u gave me, indeed is amazing how we take turns to cheer each other up. That's what sisters are for! =) i hope we can still do that in future! keep in contact~
MICHELLE
ahah! FOC, LAB, TENG partner!
cannot live a single day withot talking to each other huh? hahaha! we meet on msn ALMOST everyday just to .... krap! LOL! of cz we do talk bout important stuffs as well.
aww, MICH, i'm so gonna miss you when you are not around.
I cant even remember the day we got so close. seems like I've known you for years. HAHA!
we had so many moments spent together that cant be captured by words. just want to say thanks for all the times you were there for me especially when i was complaining or whinny and all. I reember how i enjoyed studying maths together and discussing chem, but always end up krapping.
and you better be cming back to visit me or not i will kill you! suffer the plane ride JUST FOR ME, will you. hahaha=)
ME? hahaha! I bet I'm just a RUBBISH, JOKE, TOY, MODEL FOR THE SISTAS TO TRY ON SOMETHING THEY'RE NOT SURE BOUT, ENTERTAINMENT, THE DONT WALK STRAIGHT GURL, RUMOUR, NO BRAINS GURL, HULK TENG, MAKE NO SENSE GURL. the list can go on right, people? HAHAHA! i know you all dont mean it and i find it all so funnny. WELL, I KINDA ENJOYED beeing insulted and joked about. at least, i have some use there, bringing laughter to everyone *UNINTENTIONALLY*
HAHAHAHA!
these are the awesome people and the others in G8 (including me, muahaha) that I've met! they are the ones who made my life so interesting. Missing one of them would just make a whole lot of difference. ALL OF YOU will definitely stay in my memories always.
but oh well, life goes on and we all need to move on. hope all of you would find even better friends in unis. A NEW CHALLENGE ahead, so let's embrace it and keep the past as memories and good times!
TO EVERYONE, take good care and all th best in your future studies and remember to never give up or to let down the people who have high hopes for you especially your parents! G8, we came out to be sort of the best class in SAM, so as we go to separate unis, let's strive to be the top as well. so long as we GIVE OUR BEST! =)
i really do hope we keep in contact despite the time difference in aussie and here. =)
let me cherish the memories in G8! I will miss G8 so badly. this goodbye is really hard to say.
the bros. ops! adrian, wrong place!
and the awesome sistas.
this was the place i found true, geinuine friends. awesome people who are willing to go CRAZY with me.
everyone accept each other as they are, in G8, and no one is left out.
it's a place where you can JUST BE URSELF n do not need to care much.
this was the people who held me especially when i was down and sad. just seeing them would already put a smile on my face.
i spent most of time with this awesome people this yearr and i can truly say i am so grateful to meet all of them.
SEAN
think of sean, everyone will mention WATERMELON.
happy birthday seannie! how does it feel carrying a watermelon home?! haha!
SEAN SEAN SEAN! FASTER!
~good times~
well, you will still have 5 YEARS to bear with me since i'll be in the same uni with you. GOOD OR BAD? LOL!
ADRIAN
HAHA! adrian will always be our sista! NOW AND FOREVERMORE!
awww, adrian not only you are NOT manly, but you are HAIRY too. hehehe=)
remember? the time we gurls *VEETED* you??! HAHAHA!
YOUR MOST POPULAR *ADRIAN FACE*
anywaz, dun dream of getting your manhood back, cause you'll remain a sista to all of us!
IAN
hmmm.. my fellow sime darby scholar!
well, this was the picture that i embarassed my self totally!
SAY sime darby! LOL!
anywaz, thanks for all your *GOOD* and strict advises NOT to use answers when doing my maths.
and also NOT telling me the answer until i use my brains and think myself. (and i definitely have one ok) haha, well, it does sound weird BUT it really works for solving problems!
continue to share your *wonderful* knowledge with everyone! =)
see you in future sime darby events! =)
WEN SHI
remember this? how we blind folded you on your birthday and surprise you with your BROMANCE PARTNER ivan!
haha, look at your angry face. LOL!
WEN SHI CANT GO WITHOUT HIGH SPOCK!
TAI KOR, you are really like my big brother.
i still have the chat log of how you taught us maths through msn, so nice of you la! =)
thanks for alwaz being there and listening to my whines and when i was really down that night.
You encouraged me a lot, and always make me smile.
when you are gone, who will be fetching me to and from kelana jaya? sobs. ='(
IVAN
think of you, I'll think of DURIANS.
hahaha, so funnny! dunno how cme it turn out like that.
ivan, you are also another sweet *like sugar* guy whom i met in my life.LOL!
you always remember us and will send messages showing your concern, asking how was our results, wishing us happy new year, all the best for exams and all. THANKS a lot for all those sms and remembering us. =)
GENE
haha, i remember how we forced you to put on the hat!
GRAMPS!
i'll always remember what you said to me one day. Well, I dont know if you remember, but you said this, "if sime darby chose you, you must be of some quality, if they can do it,why cant you?" something like that. well,at that time i was actually doubting why am I a sime darby scholar compared to the rest, so it did mean a lot to me. =)
PRISCILLA
HEY *PURE* CHINESE!
YESH! we made you take out your candle with your mouth!
sorry, it's terbalik! but i find this so funny! suite your face totally!
u saw through my smiles and knew that i was sad. so sweet of you of just asking " are you okay?" I seldom emo, so maybe once i'm sad people can see through. haha=) thx for beeing there.
You are the one who will laugh at the stupid things i say. and you even asked me to call you during study break or when you are down so that i can make you laugh with all the stupid things i said. HAHAHA! so funnny~
you still have 5 years of that you know? hahaha=0
LILIAN
HELLO weirdo, you are always the unique one out of all of us. We APPLY that even when buying clothes for you, and chose you the WILD GREEN shirt! LOL!
remember how we went to cut hair randomly! haha, look at you!
and how we went crazy shouting at the roof top?
thanks for being concern bout my uni and sime darby stuffs. =) oh well, we end up in the same uni! for 5 years, you'll be stuck with HULK teng! can take it? HEHE! i remember how one day we were studying in the silent zone, and you were really nice, teaching me and all.GOOD TIMES~ wahhh! i will miss having midnight talks with you man, ur stories so interesting, although u dont tell much.
anywaz, TRANSPORTER, thanks for driving us around so much. and i will always remember how you will shout at me loudly in the middle of the road and i will get really shocked! DONT cause an accident ok! BLUEKS! love watching movie in your house too, cause the screen is so big!
go chase after your dreams ok - that is BIEBER! hahahaha=) i will support you!
CANDICE
HOW DARE YOU TELL ALL THE EMBARASSING STUFFS TO C! GRRR! to someone whom i still have reputation with. I'll kill you one day if you continue to report!
candice, remember this? racing in a shopping complex? LOL
dice! i will miss you so much, it's been a great year with you. and i will always remember how we went to prayer meeting in the morning and always get scolded by Ms Doh cause we are ALWAYS late. haha.
i'm so glad i had you to just talk and share about stuffs.
and in the notes u gave me, indeed is amazing how we take turns to cheer each other up. That's what sisters are for! =) i hope we can still do that in future! keep in contact~
MICHELLE
ahah! FOC, LAB, TENG partner!
cannot live a single day withot talking to each other huh? hahaha! we meet on msn ALMOST everyday just to .... krap! LOL! of cz we do talk bout important stuffs as well.
WE MANAGED to stuffs THREE person's luggage into one! OMG!
errr.. what were we doing again? LOL!
I cant even remember the day we got so close. seems like I've known you for years. HAHA!
we had so many moments spent together that cant be captured by words. just want to say thanks for all the times you were there for me especially when i was complaining or whinny and all. I reember how i enjoyed studying maths together and discussing chem, but always end up krapping.
and you better be cming back to visit me or not i will kill you! suffer the plane ride JUST FOR ME, will you. hahaha=)
ME? hahaha! I bet I'm just a RUBBISH, JOKE, TOY, MODEL FOR THE SISTAS TO TRY ON SOMETHING THEY'RE NOT SURE BOUT, ENTERTAINMENT, THE DONT WALK STRAIGHT GURL, RUMOUR, NO BRAINS GURL, HULK TENG, MAKE NO SENSE GURL. the list can go on right, people? HAHAHA! i know you all dont mean it and i find it all so funnny. WELL, I KINDA ENJOYED beeing insulted and joked about. at least, i have some use there, bringing laughter to everyone *UNINTENTIONALLY*
HAHAHAHA!
**dislike or like**
but oh well, life goes on and we all need to move on. hope all of you would find even better friends in unis. A NEW CHALLENGE ahead, so let's embrace it and keep the past as memories and good times!
TO EVERYONE, take good care and all th best in your future studies and remember to never give up or to let down the people who have high hopes for you especially your parents! G8, we came out to be sort of the best class in SAM, so as we go to separate unis, let's strive to be the top as well. so long as we GIVE OUR BEST! =)
i really do hope we keep in contact despite the time difference in aussie and here. =)
~with a sweet ending~
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