parents...

today i suddenly thot of the day of my operation. couldnt really remeber what happen, but this was what my mum told me.
before i went into the operating theatre, my mum was with me, and she was really worried. I could see it on her face. But, this was what i told her "mummy, dont worry, God will surely take care of me, I am His child too". later after the operation and everything, she told me that those words really brought her to tears inside her heart.

and just by hearing that, i was encouraged.
some times, people say i'm a carefree, happy-go-lucky girl, and i do wonder that this is not very good.
but in situations like that, being carefree can sometimes release the tension a little. =)

well, going through an operation with the risk of paralysis is indeed not easy. spinal cord. major opt. seven hour full anathesia. really no joke. and most of the time, the people around me were more worried than i was.
i guess, that was how i cope to be calm. and of course, God gave me the utmost peace.

why did i suddenly think of this? i was just thinking back of how much my parents actually sacrifice for me just cause of this major operation in my life.
i remember after the operation, i was really in SEVERE pain, and all the time, i was actually screaming and shouting all the time. taking care of a patient like this, I KNOW, it's NOT easy!! but yet, my mother was so patient with me. i keep shouting for pathedine (my painkiller) and yet my parents still love me as much! =)
they took so many leaves, and they just slept with me in the hospital. countless sacrifices they have made.

just spewing thoughts.
i am an only child, and all of you ask do i ever want siblings. the answer is definitely YESHH!
i really want to have siblings, even though i know there'll be many fights and all.
but yeah, i'm contented to be an only child in my family as well.

usually, when people hear i'm the only child, i always get that particular stare giving the message - u must b a spoil kid then. and i do not like that look.
for all that i know, i am not a spoil kid, and consider myself quite independent. i am proud to be an only child i am really happy with the way my parents brought me up. i am happy that they did not manja me and give in to everything that i want. i am glad that they are not overprotective.
one thing i am really glad is the freedom they give me. they give me seriously A LOT of freedom. and that in itself let me know how much they actually trust me, allowing to venture life's pathway, do the mistakes and wrong things for me to learn life's process. as it's in the mistakes that i'm hurt and learn from it. and to know all this trust in me, I KNOW, that i must not abuse this freedom given to me.i am just happy with the way i turned out.

people say when you loose some thing, only you will learn to appreciate it. and that's very true.
last year, living out of home make me appreciate my parents more. i realised how much they have actually done for me all my life. all the scrifices they made for me to bring me up.

even in my education and universities application, even during the period when my future was at stake, they were there supporting me still. my parents told me, we might not have the finance for medicine without sime darby, but if that is really what you want to do, we will find a way and God will prpare a way.
that few words already made me feel secure!

thank you papa n mama! sorry for the times i argue/talk back. i love you all a lot.

and even as i grow up now, and leaving home, i knwo you all will miss me a lot, especially mummy. I LOVE YOU BOTH! and i'm proud to be your only daughter despite what other people think of me.

to have this support, no matter how tough medicine would be, i know i will try my very best. and even if i faint, i faint. but i will definitely stand up again to face my fears. i will not let u down.
and of course i have God with me, so what else should i fear. where is the courage and bravery i once had, elena ng! why did SAM make u loose so much self confidence! YOU CAN DO IT man!

plus with the friends who never gave up on you. will definitely make them proud.

look at things as SIMPLE and it will be. it's humans that complicate it.
toodles~