the next morning came...this day there was X-rays to be taken and it was real torture!!
few mens came to me and said that they wanna take X-rays..
they started puuting these thick X-rays film under my back...it was so painful and i shouted out all the way...i thought there was only one to be taken but they came back for another one...by this time tears were coming out already. FINALLY after all that they said it was finish and took it to show the doctor.
The next DISASTER came...
the doctor was not sastified and ordered another X-ray to be taken..i was left there helpless and strengthless even to struggle..n just gave in to them and endured it...
well, my haemogloblin was coming up and so i was transferred to a normal ward...i said thank you to all the nurses in ICU who has taken care of me very well... then as i was being wheeled out,i shouted out "thank You, Kalai" the nurse who i blotted out harshly at (water). i felt really guilty of doing that.
i was tranferred to a single room then. i rested and watched some TV...
the anasthesia was wearing off...after this i was seized by PAIN! this pain was undescribable, unbearable and really over the limit that i could bear..i groaned in pain for a long time..and they finally gave me paintkiller..but it only lasted for two hours then it came again...and i grumble again...
i started crying out to the Lord " please take away this pain from me. please,please,please"...but it never went away..
this lasted for three days.. n i was really suffering..once again, i felt like bursting out n keep thinking when will this pain go away..n got impatient!
then, my mum called the doctor and realised that the dose of the paintkiller was not enough for me.. and he doubled the dose.. it was slightly better but after 4 hours then it came again.
then i started grumbling against God... i started asking "why me? why do i have to endure this pain?Why dont u help me by taking away the pain? you said that you will never give me anything that i cant bear, but what is this? it's over my limit! Have you fogotten about me?You said all things work out for good, but wat's the purpose of all this?what is the reason?" i kept on struggling with God ..n when i knew that other patients do not complain of any pain, i got even more angrier. i became bitter and turn away from God. when people came to visit i was not able to put on a cheerful face, if i did i was just faking it out...throughout this three days i was constantly struggling with God. n it was saddening ad depressing it did not help me by doing this but made things even worse. i grumble complain n groaned all the more.
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